Any parent who loves their child(ren) will likely tell you that his/her child(ren) grow up so fast. You'll hear stories about how their child(ren) learned to sit, talk, walk, read, drive, and finally, leave, all in too short a time. Every parent dreams of success for their child, and any parent who says they don't want their child to be more successful than they are fooling themselves. A "good" parent will likely dream that their child will progress through the K-12 years with acceptable grades, attend college, get a good career, marry, buy a house, and have children. In that order. But so often recently, I have been reading alarming statistics demonstrating how many teens are getting pregnant, and choosing to raise their child. This "phenomenon" of teenage pregnancy is certainly not isolated to our region, yet is so prevalent here.
I am appalled at how many parents are accepting of their teenage daughters "circumstances", and are electing to raise both the child and grandchild. Many years ago, teenage pregnancy was simply unacceptable. Perhaps it was certain lack of knowledge that prevented youth from unprotected sex, one could blame it on the media, society's sexual acceptability... whatever the excuse, it is simply unacceptable that parents are so willing to continue to provide for their children.
My rant today isn't about the number of pregnancies, though loads of statistics are available (start here: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/state-data/state-profile.aspx?state=missouri).
Rather, I just cannot understand why parents coddle their children. Do they believe that by "softening" the blow of birth, that children will magically become more responsible? I have heard all too often about the grandparents waking in the middle of the night to feed the baby since mom is tired. Wait a minute... who's kid is this? Many of these teenage parents are high school dropouts, unemployed, and totally dependent on their parents.
At what point will the grandparents expect their child to grow up? When will they demand responsibility?
How do these grandparents envision their grandchild growing up?
Why is it acceptable for the state to pay for medical care for these irresponsible parents and their children? WIC?
If these teens want to play house, let them. Make them make an important decision. A REAL decision for once in their lives. Decide between (a) keeping baby, getting a job, a house, a spouse, and learning to support all of that financially, or (b) give baby up for adoption.
There are so many willing, financially able, stable, loving, married adults who are patiently waiting for the opportunity to have a baby in their home. The lists at adoption agencies are long - - many responsible adults want a baby to raise from the beginning. These adults would provide much better homes for these babies than most teenagers. Mostly because of their age and experience. Teens simply are inept at providing quality care for their child.
Parents of pregnant teens - - you want to be supportive? Encourage your child to own up to their decision to have unprotected sex, and make them carry baby full term, attending each scheduled doctor visit, eating healthy, and having a safe and healthy pregnancy. Abortion is not an option. And make them decide. Not you. Them. Make it important, and real, and serious. There have to be consequences. Children are not toys, not a fad, and they deserve our best. Society relies on parents' raising adept children.
